A Forgotten Dream Realized by Bella Mahaya Carter

Posted on by Benjamin Thomas

A Forgotten Dream Realized

by Bella Mahaya Carter

Author of Where Do You Hang Your Hammock?: Finding Peace of Mind While You Write, Publish, and Promote Your Book

Recently, while skimming old journals, I came upon this line I wrote in 1986: “One day I’d like to write a book about writing.” At the time, I was a graduate student and screenwriting teaching assistant at USC’s film school.

I’d completely forgotten that dream. But here I am, thirty-four years later, fulfilling it with Where Do You Hang Your Hammock? I never could have guessed the twists and turns my life would take, or that I’d become more interested in books than films, or that I’d develop a passion for spiritual psychology, personal transformation, and growth.
 
As a young adult, I (like many aspiring artist-dreamers) fantasized about fame and fortune. Although I felt abundantly creative, I had no idea what it took to make a living—or a life—from my creativity. 
 
For years my creative passions got stuck in logjams of insecure thought. I had no idea how insecure I really was. How much my desire to please others translated into small, but continuous betrayals of myself. 
 
As a young writer, I had no platform, little experience or practice, and scant skills. In other words, I had a lot to learn. Throughout my thirties I submitted poetry and prose to literary journals and received more rejections than acceptances. In my forties, I shopped a memoir, which never found a home. What made those rejections painful was my belief that they had to do with me personally. I translated it into: I have no talent and should stop writing. I’m wasting my time. This created inner turmoil because I had to write. I needed to write. It fed me. It calmed me. It helped me make sense of my life. This was the reason I never gave up. 


 


By the time I reached fifty, I knew a lot more about myself and about publishing. I quit taking rejection personally, and found rich and rewarding ways to make and share my work. I believed in it and in myself. This has been a game-changer.
 
Still, I wish I’d known much earlier than I did that I could have ignored my insecure thinking. I didn’t realize we all have insecure thoughts. It’s part of the human condition. It’s universal. I had no idea I could relegate fear to the back seat instead of letting it navigate, or worse, drive my life. Learning this has led to personal as well as creative liberation.
 
It’s not just me! I realized five decades into my journey.
 
When the world seems to be saying “no” to you and your creative expression, consider that it might mean, “No, not yet.” You may have more to do. You may need to let your idea marinate a little longer. You may need to study, practice, observe, and hone your craft. 
 
Or maybe you need to face a new direction. Try an alternative path. Change your perspective. Or, as I describe in my new book, move your hammock to a new location in order get a different view.
 
Maybe, like me, you’d enjoy becoming a scientist of your own psyche. Maybe you’d like to open your heart more. Take a deeper dive. Perhaps you need to peel back a few more layers and let yourself be vulnerable. 
 
We all benefit from accepting things as they are and going where we are led, rather than where the mind cajoles, forces, or demands. 
 
Follow your inner GPS, your heart, your hunches, and new opportunities will arise.
 
This is what I have done, without realizing or planning it. I have learned to trust my urge to create, and ended up birthing books, and also teaching and coaching, which was never part of any conscious plan, but which is, in fact, my true calling. My life’s work eventually found me, and for this I am grateful.
 
Am I rich or famous? No. But recently a student of mine referred to herself and her fellow classmates as “Bella’s ministry,” which touched my heart and made me smile, because I consider the work I do with my students to be sacred. I am rich, after all. Treasure has many forms: love, friendship, service, meaningful work, home, family, and life itself. 
 
Not all dreams come true, but many do. They might not look exactly the way you dreamed, but when you slow down and listen to the still, quiet voice within, life has a way of guiding you.
 
I’ve received wonderful feedback on my new book. I think it will help writers and anyone wanting to live a more fulfilled creative life—anyone wanting to make their own dreams come true.

About the Author:

Bella Mahaya Carter is the author of Where Do You Hang Your Hammock?: Finding Peace of Mind While You Write, Publish, and Promote Your Book. She is a creative writing teacher, empowerment coach, and speaker, and author of an award-winning memoir, Raw: My Journey from Anxiety to Joy, and a collection of narrative poems, Secrets of My Sex. She has worked with hundreds of writers since 2008 and has degrees in literature, film, and spiritual psychology. Her poetry, essays, fiction, and interviews have appeared in Mind, Body, Green; The Sun; Lilith; Fearless Soul; Writer’s Bone; Women Writers, Women’s Books; Chic Vegan; Bad Yogi Magazine; Jane Friedman’s Blog; Pick the Brain; Spiritual Media blog; Literary Mama; several anthologies, and elsewhere. For more information, please visit https://www.bellamahayacarter.com

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The Catharsis of Memoir Writing by Beth Ruggiero York

Posted on by Benjamin Thomas

 

Airplane take off over the panorama city at twilight scene

 

 

Beth Ruggiero York

 

Beth York Headshot 2 image

 

 

The Catharsis of Memoir Writing

by Beth Ruggiero York

Author of Flying Alone: A Memoir 

 

It takes courage to write a memoir. Sort of like going to confession if you are Catholic. If you want absolution, you must admit to all the stupid things you’ve done. Similarly, if you want to sell your story, you must bare your moments of weakness to readers. The difference is that, in a memoir, you also get to tell about your triumphs and how you won in the end. Your life events need to span the full gamut of what life has thrown at you and resonate in the readers’ hearts and minds, and this means going deep into your soul to create the story, your story. 

 

For me, Flying Alone was not going to be a memoir, even though all the events and characters are real. It was going to be a novel. Actually, it was to be a memoir masquerading as a novel, complete with names changed to protect the innocent and not so innocent. This way, I could fully reveal the events without having to own up to them. Those years in the 1980s when I was climbing and clawing my way up the aviation ladder were filled with risk, dangerous situations and some bad decisions. When I lost my FAA medical certificate in 1990 with the diagnosis of multiple sclerosis, my aviation career ended and I knew I had to write about it. Even though I wasn’t ready to expose some of it, I still pushed those thoughts aside and wrote… and wrote. The memories were fresh, and I could record them in the greatest detail. After completing the writing, I put it in a box and set it aside knowing that someday there would be a time to revisit it. Well, the time passed until about two years ago, when I finally knew I was ready. 

 

I read it all the way through for the first time in so very long, reliving the experiences with all the edge-of-my-seat terror and suspense as when it actually happened. 

Even though it was intended to be a novel, written in the third-person to shield myself from what readers might think of my escapades, there was no doubt only halfway through rereading it that it was, in fact, a memoir of a very turbulent time in my life. This posed the greatest difficulty in the editing process—telling it as my personal story in the first person, i.e., baring myself to readers and owning the truth. I had to make peace with all that had happened back then and, ultimately, I shared everything and could forgive myself for old mistakes and regrets. 

At times, the distance of thirty years made it seem unreal, but that separation also helped me to look at those years with the objective compassion that comes with maturity. I remember and love the people who played important roles during that time, from Rod, my employer, mentor and flight examiner, to Melanie, my student, friend and cheerleader, and Peter, my dear friend and fellow risk taker who paid the highest price.

Flying Alone is the result of the cathartic process called memoir writing. But not only is this process cleansing and peace-making, it serves another important purpose—that is, recording history. Whether my history is important or not is not the point. Rather, the point is it is the history of a time and a small slice of life at that time. 

In sharing my story, my hopes are for a variety of reactions from a variety of people. For other women, I hope they can see how it is possible to emerge from life situations and decisions that make you feel as desperate as an airplane in an uncontrollable spin. My relationship with Steve was just that, and even though recovery was never a guarantee, persistence allowed it to happen. 

I equally hope that young women aspiring to careers in aviation and other male-dominated professions will understand that it can be done successfully. Certainly, the circumstances are much more forgiving today than they were in the 1980s, but there still remain obstacles. I hope the ultimate message received is never to give up even when it just doesn’t seem worth the effort anymore. Don’t plant the seeds for later regrets.

Of course, I also want to share it with pilots of all types so they can see my side of the world of civil aviation and perhaps derive amusement, stir their own memories or, in the case of student pilots, learn what not to do. An early reviewer of my book summed it up in this way: “… [Beth’s] book will warm the hearts of grizzled pilots like me or anyone seeking insight into the challenges and rewards of flying.”

As I look back, despite the fact that quite a bit of courage is needed to write a memoir, the memoir is in fact a reward earned for simply living life. Taking the time to look back on years past and contemplate the events that have shaped and changed you as well as others is an act of accepting yourself, but writing about these events to share with others is the reward.

 

Beth York nature shot image

 

About the Author: 

Beth Ruggiero York is the author of Flying Alone: A Memoir. She is a former airline pilot for Trans World Airlines. She entered the world of civil aviation in 1984 shortly after graduating from college and, for the next five years, climbed the ladder to her ultimate goal of flying for a major airline. Beth originally wrote Flying Alone in the early 1990s, shortly after her career as a pilot ended and the memories were fresh. She is now a Chinese translator and a professional photography instructor for Arizona Highways PhotoScapes. She has published a popular instructional book on night photography, Fun in the Dark: A Guide to Successful Night Photography, which has worldwide sales, and she has co-written a book entitled, Everglades National Park: A Photographic Destination. Beth and her husband live in Fountain Hills, AZ. For more information, please visit https://bethruggieroyork.com and follow Beth on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram.

 

 

modern aircraft of an airfield