The Grains of Truth


THE GRAINS OF TRUTH

Why is it so hard to embrace weakness
when we were born with it?

Small and helpless beings utterly
dependent upon the hands of another.

With no strength to feed, drink, or nourish
our bodies with sustenance.

Why is it so hard to embrace weakness
when it allowed us to be loved and cared for?

What is strength without first knowing
the pangs of weakness?

What is nourishment without the knowledge
of dire hunger?

It was weakness that first allowed us to know
the comfort of assurance.

It was weakness that allowed us to grow,
become strong and resilient.

It was weakness that allowed another to
embrace our needs until we were mature.

But yet maturity means to reject our
very nature.

Maturity means we dispel others who seek
to embrace our most basic needs?

It means we reject the weakness that
seeks out the flood of unborn tears.

It means we actively suppress the nature
that makes us passionate human beings.

It means we scurry away from the weakness
that brought us all the vigors of life.

Yet real maturity means we embrace the
brittleness that is—the essence of life.

It means we open to the oppressed well
of tears, and embrace the fears of flowing.

It means we grasp the grains of truth,
reject the lies that keep us from knowing—

That we are not truly weak.
We are just human.

© Benjamin Thomas


The Weightless Kiss of Truth


THE WEIGHTLESS KISS OF TRUTH

There’s a misbegotten truth,
weighing heavily on the tip of my wings.

Impeding the ascent to the height—
the cumulus flight to bigger, or better things.

Whispers of resistance, continue, in the
soft echoing of resilient wind it seems.

Companies of snow-capped mountain
ranges now break upon my sight.

Arises now a forgotten strength, and
defiance—to engage in a bitter fight.

Suddenly a pang of thought, rushes to
mind, and its presence was just right.

I bear no burden, I need no wings, the truth is
weightless—instantly I am light.

I am lighter than the restless, ageless wind.
I am lighter than the veiled, open air known to men.

Lighter than tenfold painful lies.
Lighter than the unheard strangled cries—

For the swift healing of crippled wings.
Or laments that the mourning dove always brings.

Lighter than the feigned beast, we call doubt.
Lighter than the wicked, weighted world of pout.

Lighter than the futile, hurled exercise of hate.
And soon—

I just evaporate.

Poof

For I am lighter than the lightest of them all.
For I’ve become the Paraclete, unsung molecule,
of small—

Belief. Relief.

Even until this very day.
No one knows the mystery, so they say.

Who wrongly assumed a premature victory,
in the gist of a weak, fledgling history.

But you’ll never know where I’ll be.
Perhaps, when you round the corner—

There I’ll be.
But don’t be surprised when you see…

The weightless kiss of truth—
from me.

© Benjamin Thomas


COMFORT IN WHAT I AM

COMFORT IN WHAT I AM

I am a mist of ravens.
A gale of pink petals.
the weight of precious metal.

I am a gallop of wind.
A heart of granite.
A dollop of passion.

I am the naked truth.
A season of change.
A flock of dahlias.

I am a camp of crows.
A clique of swans.
A gang of falcons.

I am a barren land.
A helping hand.
A crown of stars.

I am the woodwind.
I am the violin.
I am the taste of gin.

I am a song of shadow.
A chant of praise.
I am the rays.

I am me.

I am—
what I need
to be.

© Benjamin Thomas

Moving Beyond Trauma: An Interview with Author Ilene Smith

 

 

Moving Beyond Trauma image

 

Have you noticed that no matter how much time you spend in talk therapy, you still feel anxious and triggered? That is because talk therapy can keep you stuck in a pattern of reliving your stories, rather than moving beyond them. But, most of all, it’s because trauma doesn’t just reside inside your mind–much more importantly, it locks itself in other parts of your body. When left unresolved, that trauma continues to live there, impacting your life, your relationships, your sense of safety, and your ability to experience joy in very real ways.

In Moving Beyond TraumaIlene Smith will introduce you to Somatic Experiencing, a body-based therapy capable of healing the damage done to your nervous system by trauma. She breaks down the ways in which trauma impacts your nervous system and walks you through a program designed to process trauma in a non-threatening way. You will discover a healing lifestyle marked by a deeper connection with yourself, those around you, and with everything you do.

 

AudibleGoodreads | Audible

 

 

Gentle Healing Words

 

 

INTERVIEW WITH ILENE SMITH

 

What is somatic experiencing?

 

Somatic Experiencing (SE) is a body therapy modality used to heal trauma. When an event happens too fast and we do not have the time or ability for self-protection or defense, this survival energy gets stuck in our body as an incomplete biological reaction. This stuck energy is what causes trauma symptoms and the nervous system loses its ability to maintain a state of balance. The trapped energy from the traumatic experience causes the nervous system to rush to a state of fight, flight, or freeze. SE works to help bring the nervous system back on-line by helping the individual restore their sense of safety. This can only happen when the body has a “biological completion” and the trauma energy has the opportunity to reintegrate back into the body.  

While SE uses talking in the process, the talking is used to track body sensation and meaning attached to experiences, rather than bring the individual back into the event of the trauma. When we bring the body into the therapy process and facilitate a way for the individual to physically move through the experience with a sense of safety, the relationship to the experience changes and the stuck energy will discharge.

 

Why did you want to become a somatic experiencing practitioner?

When I went back to school in my early 40’s for a degree in mental health counseling, I knew I wanted to work with trauma. I was introduced to SE during my internship at an eating disorder clinic and felt as though SE was complimentary to talk therapy. I also felt as though it was the missing link for trauma healing. I became a student of the work as well as a patient because I believe you can only take a client as far as you are willing to go yourself. I was experiencing great results personally and began applying the principles of SE with my clients. The results were phenomenal. Clients with eating disorders and addiction were moving away from their maladaptive behaviors and finding deeper and more meaningful connections with themselves and others. I feel strongly and passionately that the body and the nervous system need to be part of the healing process for real and everlasting change.

 

What type of rewards do you get by helping others heal?

There is nothing more rewarding than watching a person go from surviving to thriving in their life. I have and continue to walk people through incredible healing journeys. I love being part of transformation and nothing feels better than being able to add value to other’s lives.

 

What is the focus on the nervous system related to this type of therapy?

While the nervous system is designed to be self-regulating, it has its limitations around trauma. Unresolved trauma, especially when trauma is chronic and accumulated, can lead to more extensive mental and physical health symptoms. The long-term effect of SE treatment is a restored sense of healthy nervous system functioning, which includes reduction in maladaptive coping skills, resolved sleep issues, and mood stabilization — to name a few. When the body gains the capacity to self-regulate, it restores its sense of safety and balance. In turn, stress hormones are lower and the body can produce more “feel good” hormones such as serotonin and oxytocin.

Unlike most therapy modalities which are considered “top down,” meaning they use our highest form of cognition, SE begins with a “bottom up” approach of sensorimotor processing aimed at guiding the client through the most primitive to the most complex brain systems. The therapist begins by guiding the client to track sensation and movements, helping a patient develop a felt sense of his internal states of tension, relaxation and respiration cycles. This is a powerful mechanism to regulate the autonomic nervous system. 

 

What does unresolved trauma mean and how does it affect our bodies?

When trauma is unresolved our survival mechanisms of fight flight and freeze get stuck in the on position and our autonomic nervous system (ANS) kicks into high gear. These states are only meant for acute situations for defense and protection. Our ANS contributes to how we regulate every state in our body including heart rate, breath, digestion and bladder.  When our bodies are in stress physiology, hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol start pumping through the body causing all sorts of imbalances both emotionally and physically. There have been many studies showing the impact of trauma and stress on the emotional and physical body. The Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE) study showed that the more emotional and physical abuse a person had during childhood the more likely they are to experience mental and physical health issues as adults. This body and mind are intrinsically connected and this is why bringing the body into the healing process is so important.

 

What happens in the brain when trauma is processed, or resolved?

When trauma is resolved a person will begin to see and move through the world with more vitality and ease. They will begin to have a more accurate ability to sense safety and danger and experience a deeper connection to themselves and the world around them. When trauma is resolved a person will feel more present, helping them better express themselves and understand their needs and desires. These changes in the nervous system and brain, reduce anxiety, depression and maladaptive behaviors used to cope with pain and discomfort. Ultimately the individual will feel more curious and resilient to face the ups and down of life.

 

How does this type of therapy build resilience? 

SE works with the bodies most primitive instincts to help integrate trauma memories into the body. When this occurs, a person will experience a greater sense of safety within themselves. In other words, a person gains a sense of mastery over themselves and their feelings. It is a knowing that you can handle and tolerate what you are experiencing. Resilience is a byproduct of knowing you have the internal resources to survive and this is what we teach the body through the process of SE.

 

I love the title of your book, Moving Beyond Trauma. What can a life beyond trauma look like, and what kind of hope does it bring? 

Thank you! When trauma is resolved we gain capacity to live our lives with more presence and intention. We can connect to ourselves and others and feel more curious to explore the things that we like. Ultimately moving beyond trauma allows the space to find passion and vibrance. I like to think of life after trauma as a healing lifestyle. A healing lifestyle is different for each person, but it is a life of self-care with body/mind alignment. It is a life beyond survival where an individual can and has the desire to grow and thrive.

 

Where can people learn more about somatic experiencing?

My book Moving Beyond Trauma is available on Amazon. 

If someone is interested in finding a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner in their area, they can go to www.traumahealing.org. I also have many articles on my website www.ilenesmith.com

 

Ilene Smith author image

 

 

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7 Things Helping Me Cope with the Corona-virus Pandemic part 1

 

Playlist Album Label Player Sound Track Collection Concept

 

With the onset of one of the worst infectious outbreaks of our time, the Covid-19 Pandemic, or Corona-virus apocalypse as I call it, there’s a critical need for coping mechanisms. I live in the U.S., so I don’t believe we’ve seen the worst of it yet. The schools, bars, restaurants, YMCA, barbershops, businesses are all closed. The kids are home 24/7. Work is drastically reduced, although I do work in healthcare, but not on the frontlines of a hospital. The elderly population that I work with are the most vulnerable, so Assisted living facilities are either restricting non-essential personnel, or closing their doors completely. In other words, I’m pretty much stuck at home seeking ways to escape intractable boredom.

One of things that has helped me cope with depression, panic, heightened anxiety, and the madness of the world going to the pot, is music therapy. I’ve made several playlists on my device, but the one that’s saving me right now is named JACKED. It’s a list of 7 great songs by various artists and types of music. For the sake of space, I’ll split it in half and only share 3 songs here. Ready?

The first on the playlist is this…

 

 

Powerful sound waves with funny sound speakers and screaming man.

 

#1 CALL TO ARMS by Flux Pavilion & Meaux Green

Genre: Dance/Electronic Album: Atlas Shrugged 2018

There are no lyrics, just some background vocals with a sensational rhythm and great bass line. I can’t tell you how this makes me feel when I fire this one up on the headphones! There’s simple introduction with various electronics, voices, then….the bass line drops. BAM. Instant gratification.

*Call To Arms = 1: a summons to engage in active hostilities. 2 : a summons, invitation, or appeal to undertake a particular course of action.  (Merriam-Webster)

The beginning of this playlist, JACKED, begins with a “Call to Arms”, a call to engage in active warfare. On a much deeper level, this is our actual situation in the midst of this global pandemic. An invisible enemy has attacked us with our pants down, daring us to respond. How will you respond? Staying at home all day doesn’t seem much like a call to action during wartime, but it is. We can’t fight this enemy head on. Our call to action is to retreat, distant ourselves, check on our loved ones, or those who are at greater risk of infection. I’ve been in the healthcare industry going on 20 years and I’ve seen firsthand what infectious diseases can do to the human body. It’s not pretty, trust me. To think we’re somehow immune or invincible to once in a lifetime pandemic is simply preposterous. Being smart doesn’t mean mass hysteria, or sustaining a sense of panic. However, strategy is everything in warfare.

 

 

 

#2 PROVIDENCE by Audiomachine

Genre: Epic music, Symphonic, electronic, instrumental. Album: Magnus 2015

The group Audiomachine is as awesome as it sounds. Very professional, epic sound. In fact they’ve appeared on multiple trailers for blockbuster movies over the years. I found them over the last few years and simply can’t recommend them enough. This particular peace is just heavenly, majestic, however you want to phrase it.

*Providence =  1. a divine guidance or care. 2. b God conceived as the power sustaining and guiding human destiny.

In dire times such as this, certainly we need the divine guidance of God himself. God have mercy on us all.

 

 

 

#3 BLENDED FAMILY by Alicia Keys featuring A$AP Rocky

Genre: R&B/Soul  Album: Blended Family (What You Do For Love) 2016

I’ve always loved the magical voice of the wonderful Alicia Keys. Her ability to invoke emotions in me through her music is truly special. When I listen to this song, Blended Family I’m immediately transported into her experience of loving her family. You can find the story behind her inspiration for Blended family here. Alicia Keys shares her experience of her husband, producer Swiss Beatz, his children from a previous relationship, and their own children. Families can be very diverse considering all the dynamics involved.

Definitely in the midst of any crisis we need to seek the emotional support from those closest to us. I found myself reaching out to some members of the family I haven’t regularly spoken to in a while. Under the strict guidelines provided by the CDC, state and local authorities, social or familial interaction is critical.

 

 

 

I’ll share the remainder of the playlist, JACKED in the coming days. In the meantime. Stay safe, take care of yourself, reach out to others who may be in need.

This is the writing train signing off…until the next time.

 

 

Dampflok

 

 

 

 

Dealing with ANXIETY as Writers

IT’S TELEVISION TUESDAY!!

 

 

Old Classic Television In A Room

 

 

 

Dealing with ANXIETY as Writers

 

 

 

 

 

How do you deal with anxiety as a writer? Tell us in the comments!

 

 

Benjamin Thomas

@thewritingtrain

http://www.mysterythrillerweek.com